The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
