"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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