im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
