its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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