How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
