every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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