5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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