im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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