You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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