I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
