she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
How's work?
Spinning.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
