I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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