OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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