I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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