Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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