I'm sorry my penis didn't work
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize