why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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