my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
