the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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