I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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