i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
