I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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