And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
