nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
