hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
