I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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