I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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