We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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