she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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