i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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