Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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