highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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