Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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