she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
