Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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