so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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