Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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