On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
