Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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