so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
