I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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