hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
