At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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