talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
