i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
