so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
