Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
