Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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