There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
