Need sex. Gaining weight.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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