Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
