I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
