you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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