im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize