Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
