So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
