"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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