NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i dont even know how to be here
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
