i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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