you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
ttyl tear gas
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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