It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
