you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
