I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
