Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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